Crossing Thresholds: Crested Butte, CO

Raven Shree
Aug 23
11 min read

I'm heading out on a truck camping road trip through Colorado, a pilgrimage that coincides with my last birthday anniversary of my MiddleWorld Apprenticeship. After 8 years of deep commitment to this evolutionary program, it is finally coming to conclusion at the end of this year.

It will be good to get out into nature & spend solo time reflecting on ways I did, and did not, live up & into the vows & intentions of this 8 year MiddleWorld Apprenticeship program. This is part of every Hero’s Journey: facing both the triumphs & shortcomings of one's journey with courage, humility, grace & love.

Two central objectives of my MiddleWorld curriculum have been to:

1. Cultivate Kindness

2. Love Humanity

As I reflect on how I've lived the curriculum of this program these past 8 years, I am happy to say I lived many aspects of it wholeheartedly. Regardless of what was happening; whether it was Covid, Trump or personal challenges in my life, I stayed true to soul fundamentals of this program with conviction & care, For that, I pause & give myself a breath of love.

There are some aspects of this Apprenticeship that I did not live up to. These are truths I will be sitting with on this trip as well. My hope is that I can engage in some degree of forgiveness & allow these shortcomings to be held in the embrace of grace, as I honor my human-ness & fragility.

Program Extension

My MiddleWorld Apprenticeship was initially planned as a 7-year program. However, towards the end of Covid, with so many of the relational tasks of the program disrupted by isolation & global crisis, an additional year was added to the journey.

Instead of rushing toward completion, I was given the grace of "extra" time to complete this program. I've used this extra year as soul rooted time to integrate, heal & gather insights that might have otherwise slipped past me.

As I come to completion of my last summer of my MiddleWorld Apprenticeship, there are many seeds of wisdom to take forward with me into what comes next.

Chakra Guides

Throughout my Apprenticeship I've used the Chakras as guides to support & inspire me along the way. Beginning with the Root Chakra in year one, I devoted one full year to each chakra as I ascended through body, heart, mind & spirit.

Devoting a full year to each chakra allowed me to deeply explore themes of kindness & loving humanity through various levels of consciousness. As I ascended through each chakra, year over year, I've been able to gain a wider perspective on life, love & humanity.

The Road Trip Begins

Now to set off out into the wild to reflect on the journey & weave healings deeper into my being. My first day on the road was a travel day; a six-hour drive from Denver to Crested Butte, CO to find camping before the rest of the weekenders got there. When I got there, the campground I wanted to stay at only had 2 sites left, but the vibes did not feel right to me.

Should I settle & stay there just in case nothing else shows up? ..or do I trust that I can find my way to something perfect for me?

I chose the latter & ended up finding a magnificent spot next to Trout Creek. I had my own round-about driveway perfect for Medicine Wheel ceremony. I had shade, which was wonderful since it was hot. And there's a creek right out my door which is fabulous!

Trusting Time

I have to practice trust in a big way on this trip. Solo camping with no neighbors & no cell service while fires are raging around the state is a bit scary. I have to trust that if a fire encroaches on me here, somehow I would be aware & be able to make it out safely.

Without cell service I have to trust my house sitter can get into the house and take care of my creatures. I have to trust that all will be cared for in my absence, at work & at home.

I have to trust that whatever happens in these situations & beyond, that I’ll be able to be present with the experience & respond from the center of my capacity with whatever arises.

This kind of truck camping asks me to surrender control & lean into presence. It stretches me into deeper levels of self-reliance, adaptability & endurance. It asks me to strip away some of my safety nets & come more fully into the present moment & into the raw depths of my own inner being.

Ceremony in Nature

Once I landed & surrendered into trust, the land then invited me into a Hero's Journey ceremony walk. I passed through a portal of trees & discovered a magnificent walking stick waiting for me by the creek. With staff in hand, I crossed the river & said farewell to several things I am releasing.

As I near completion of my Apprenticeship, there are contracts I can begin to close, and integrations I can weave together as I prepare to close this chapter of my life.

Stepping onto the far bank, I greeted life anew, saying hello to the fresh immediacy of the present moment. Every Hero’s Journey is marked by thresholds such as these, moments when the old self falls away & the unknown opens before us. A new journey awaits.

Medicine Wheel Teachings

I love that my site has a round-about driveway to use as a Medicine Wheel prayer circle. I circumnavigated this walkway several times while camping here, casting flower-petal prayers into each direction. I've been charging flower petals throughout my Apprenticeship, and now it's time for their release. Letting go of them feels good.

Each direction of the Wheel reflected something powerful back to me. I started in the North honoring Ancestors who have walked before me & whose wisdom and heritage grounds me on my journey.

Then I moved counter-clock-wise into the West, unwinding & opening the circle to call in release and renewal. Here I honored the Autumn of my life; a time of harvest, letting go & of deep transformation.

I am excited this Apprenticeship program is coming to an end, however, this ending is also a milestone that will move me deeper into my aging process & I have some grief around that.

In the South, I connected with power & resiliency; forces of being so needed during these extreme times of Now. The South reminds me that true power is not about control, but about vitality, endurance & the courage to keep showing up with authenticity, even in the face of adversity & challenge.

Then I moved into the East, and was reminded that each day, each inhale, each step forward offers a possibility of newness. Even as I age & move further away from my youth, there is still newness available to me.

As my Apprenticeship nears completion, the Medicine Wheel reminds me that endings are never final. Every threshold opens into another beginning. This is the rhythm of the Hero’s Journey: the circle unwinds, the path begins again & we spiral into another adventure.

Totem Medicine

In the direction of East I met one of my power animal totems, and its one I’ve been working with deeply these past several years.

A little bit of back story: About 10 year ago when I was in the Underworld, I took on the archetype of "Queen of Heart". Living this force helped me ascend from the depths of the UnderWorld & into my current MiddleWorld Apprenticeship. For years, the Queen guided me with sovereignty & fire, teaching me about leadership, love, responsibility & service.

During Covid I saw that I was no longer living up to the archetypal integrity of Queen, so I dethroned her & took on the totem of Ant, becoming a drone, a regular member of society. This was a powerful shift for me on so many levels.

Working with Ant has been deep medicine for me during my Apprenticeship years. This totem has helped me evolve my ego, and recalibrate my relationship to power, service & community.

Sweet Pee

It was amazing to come across this little ecosystem of ants & aphids at my campsite. These two species have such an interesting relationship.

Aphids eat the sap in plants & pee a sweet nectar called honeydew. Ants love honeydew; it’s a high-energy sugar source for them. Ants protect aphid clusters from predators like ladybugs & wasps so they can keep getting the honeydew.

Ants even “milk” aphids by stroking them with their antennae, causing them to release honeydew on demand. You can see some of the honeydew drops in the below picture. I'm so happy I was able to capture this level of detail with my cell phone!

Largest Aspen Grove

I'm camping a bit west of Crested Butte on Kebler Pass, which has one of the largest Aspen groves in the world. This area is spectacular. The magic here is amazing & it’s hard to capture the intensity of this place with pictures.

This grove shares a single root system that spans an entire mountainside. This is a massive living organism & I am honored to be here as I prepare to complete my Apprenticeship.

One of the deepest intentions & lessons of my MiddleWorld Apprenticeship has been to learn to love humanity; to live with an open heart and practice kindness & compassion as acts of service to others, and to myself.

It might sound simple on the surface, but it’s been a challenging curriculum to engage in these past 8 years, especially through so many crisis’ like Covid, global wars, aging & now the turbulence of the Trump era.

Spirit is giving me lots of opportunities to practice loving humanity during a time when conflict & division are burning bright & heated.

As I sit with the energy of this Aspen Grove and it’s one root system under my feet, I am reminded of my interconnectedness with humanity. Whether I like them or not, I’m in the massive living organism of humanity. No matter what I do individually, I'm always held in the larger breath of humanity that I'm part of.

No matter how solitary the road may feel, we never journey alone. We are woven into a greater story; and the higher calling of the heart is not to just endure humanity, but to love it, even when it feels impossible.

Gothic Mountain

A new fire sprouted up close by, so I'm going to the other side of the mountain to find a spot near people to gain a sense of safety.

My goal is to find a campsite I can reserve for a couple nights. If I have a reserved site, it’s easier to explore the region throughout the day. If I’m boon-docking, I have to stay put since I don’t have a tent or anything to leave behind to hold the spot.

I decided to explore a road I’ve never done before and what a great decision that was. I discovered Gothic Mountain. Oh my goodness; what a spectacular force.

I got to Gothic Campground and was surprised to find a few spots still available (there are only 6 sites there). There was no camp host & there were no fee envelopes!

So…I created my own placard for my campsite & made a homemade envelope for my money so when the host did get there, they can reserve my spot. I’ve got to trust that nobody’s going take my money. There's that theme of trust again :}

River Valley Ceremony

I packed my day pack & shade shelter and set out to find my ceremony spot for the day. I found an amazing creek location in the center of the valley at the base of Gothic Mountain. Heaven.

I pulled oracle cards, did some movement practices, worked on my solar chakra lesson plan, and journaled with the archetypes of King & Queen.

As I was journaling, I noticed how much easier it was for me to write from the place of my Inner King. It’s a core archetype of my persona. Yang energy comes naturally to me.

Writing from my Inner Queen was a bit more challenging. I’ve explored this archetype through several lenses over the years & now it’s calling for a new expression as I prepare to end my Apprenticeship.

I offered Rose petals to the stream of life & in that process the voice that came through from my Inner Queen was: Let spirit love me & from this state of receptivity, be present & live from there.

I laid in the stream and opened up to romantic interaction with the world. I received the love of the wind as it brushed my skin. I laid on the earth & received the love of being supported by the ground. I received the sound of the river as it sang lullabies. The beauty of it all brought me to tears.

After my ceremony I read the book for the Oracle card I had pulled for the day, and the writing literally said "Let Spirit Love You" That's perfect. I am right on track.

Forgiveness & Integration

With love expanded in my heart, I spent the next day in Forgiveness ceremony at the base of Gothic mountain. This Goliath of a structure stood over me like a steadfast guardian as I moved through layers of awareness, grief & gratitude.

During Year 2 of my Apprenticeship my father died. I think there’s always been an Inner Child inside of me that thought my father would reach out to rectify or apologize for the past he created. When he died & hadn’t done that, I was able to release any final connections I had of that happening.

Now, several years later, his absence has created a space where forgiveness can take root. My father had many shortcomings & the wounds he inflicted ran deep. But here at the base of Mount Gothic, I was able to offer forgiveness to his spirit, wherever it now resides.

As I offered him forgiveness, I was able to offer my Inner Child some healing as well for the wound of never receiving love, support or protection from a father. These Ravens joined me in ceremony & were great companions to witness my presencing.

Healing the Queen

During the pandemic when I dethroned the Queen, I was forced to face a cold, hard truth. I am not a superhero. I cannot banish darkness or erase pain from the world. My Apprenticeship revealed to me how adolescent those aspirations were.

Releasing this part of my identity initiated me into a profound ego death that carried me through layers of grief & darkness. On one hand, I had to grieve the loss of my specialness, but I also felt a release of enormous responsibility.

This experience was both an unraveling & a reckoning. It stripped me bare & was a necessary part of my evolution.

Lying in the river with the theme of forgiveness flowing through me, I realized I had never forgiven myself for falling so short of my highest ideals. I still carry judgement towards myself for not stepping more fully into my power & for not holding myself more accountable for my fullness.

So in addition to offering forgiveness to my father, I offered forgiveness to myself. This river received my shame, my disappointment & my grief.

In the quiet opening that emerged, I was reminded that the Hero’s path is not about perfection, but about courage. It's about the willingness to face the shadow, fall to the ground, and rise again with greater humility, clarity & grace. This has been one of the deeper teachings of my Apprenticeship & being with this land has been a wonderful way to alchemize this medicine deeper into my soul.

Gratitude

I am so grateful for my time in Crested Butte. I love this region of Colorado. This land has nourished me deeply,

Eight years of MiddleWorld Apprenticeship has been demanding, humbling & transformative. To spend these days weaving lessons together, grieving what is passing, and glimpsing what lies ahead is a blessing.

My hope is this share sparks something in you to welcome more trust, forgiveness & courage into our own life. Here's some contemplations to explore as you navigate your Hero's Journey.