The Medicine of Mutuality

Over these past several months, I’ve been exploring the Heart Chakra theme of Mutuality. What began as a few pages in my art journal quickly became a powerful mirror for me to peer into, reflecting back strengths I've cultivated throughout my lifetime, and also areas where my heart is quietly asking me to grow.

I started with a simple exploration of yin & yang, exploring imbalances in several areas of my life. Through this process I discovered areas where imbalances were heavily weighted in one direction, such as:

• Purpose has been more developed in me than Pleasure.

• Meaning has been more important to me than Play.

• Insight has been more developed in me than Intimacy.

• Solitude has felt safer than Mutuality.

And the truth is, these imbalances have been huge gifts in my life. Solitude has taught me self-awareness, intuition, creativity, discernment & resiliency. It has invited me into a rich inner life and into a deep relationship with myself.

As someone who lives alone, travels alone, creates alone, and often walks my spiritual path alone, I've learned to trust my own inner guidance. That trust has carried me on remarkable adventures, both in the outer landscapes of the world and through the inner landscapes of my own soul.  And for this, I am deeply grateful.

However, every season of life asks for something different from us. I can now see how some of my strengths have developed far more then their complementary forces, and this awareness is shining light into my next stage of growth.

As I explore these patterns in my life, I see who I've been…and who I am being invited to become. As I move into this next chapter of my life & aging journey, I find myself less interested in strengthening what already comes naturally to me, and am more curious about cultivating qualities that have been quietly waiting in the background of my life for years (maybe even decades).

I'm beginning to sense this next season of my life isn't about becoming more independent. But rather, it's inviting me to become more relationally permeable. To trust that another person can genuinely shape, enrich & contribute to my life in a meaningful & vibrant way. 

One of the reflections in my journal reads: "Mutuality is a living exchange where both people affect, nourish & transform one another. My reality matters. Your reality matters. And something third emerges between us.”

The more I contemplate this, the more I realize that mutuality isn't simply about kindness or generosity. It's about allowing relationship itself to become transformative. It asks for flexibility instead of rigidity. Attunement instead of assumption. Vulnerability instead of self-protection. And perhaps most importantly, it asks us to be changed by one another.

And these are not qualities we can easily develop alone. These are traits & skills we can only cultivate in the mutuality of relationship. Mutuality asks us to loosen our grip on control and invites us into the vulnerable space where we are no longer only the giver, the helper, the teacher, or the capable one. But the one that is soft, vulnerable, and the one that must be willing to receive.....and FYI....these are traits that don’t come very easily to me. 

Recently, life decided to give me some powerful lessons in the area of mutuality. As a single woman, there have been moments over the years when I’ve wondered: If something serious ever happened…who would I call? What would I do? Who would be there for me? ….This past week I found out.

I recently experienced an unexpected medical emergency. It began during a work meeting. Within minutes, I found myself in the vulnerable position of explaining to my coworkers that something was wrong with me & that I was having a medical emergency. I had to ask neighbors to drive me to the emergency room. I reached out to friends to let them know what was happening so someone could care for my cats while I was in the hospital.

For someone who has spent much of her life being capable, independent, and self-reliant, asking for help was a very vulnerable act of surrender for me. I spent several days in the hospital, getting blood work, numerous neurology tests, a CAT scan, an MRI of my brain & the scary procedure of a lumbar puncture for a spinal tap. 

Throughout the week; 

• Neighbors rearranged their schedules to drive me to and from the emergency room

• Friends checked in with me throughout the week via text letting me know they were thinking of me 

• Coworkers carried responsibilities on a project at work while I was out for a week

• One friend even showed up at the hospital to sit with me. She later came to my home, washed my dishes, and helped clean my kitchen so I could have a nurturing space when I got home.

None of these acts of kindness took the fear away that I was feeling. However, each one of them reminded me that I wasn’t experiencing this all alone. Each act became a gentle reminder that mutuality isn't simply something we practice when we are strong enough to give. It's also the sacred willingness to let ourselves be held when we are the one in need.

Interestingly, the lumbar puncture into my spine was performed between my L3 and L4 vertebrae. As soon as the doctor explained where the needle would be inserted, I found myself imagining it as an energetic bridge between the Heart Chakra & Solar Chakra. That metaphor helped me breathe through the procedure and discover a deeper layer of meaning in what I was experiencing. 

• The Heart asks us to practice mutuality; to give and receive love, to allow ourselves to be supported, to trust relationship, and to soften enough to let others matter.

• The Solar Plexus asks us to cultivate healthy autonomy; to know ourselves, advocate for ourselves, make wise decisions, and stand firmly in our own inner authority.

This week has required both from me. 

• I had to advocate for my health, ask thoughtful questions, make difficult decisions on my own, and trust my own discernment. That was my Solar Plexus at work.

• At the same time, I had to let people help me. I had to accept meals, check-ins, and care. I couldn’t “do it all myself.” That was my Heart asking me to practice mutuality rather than independence, which is my typical way of being.

This experience has reminded me that vulnerability is not the opposite of strength. It's one of the ways strength becomes relational. It's the place where our personal power meets our capacity to belong. And that's a powerful bridge between the heart & solar chakra.

As I return home from the hospital and reflect on my journal pages, I see the phrase: “Mutuality asks for something I can’t fully control.” And isn’t that exactly what illness does? My body suddenly interrupted all of my carefully laid out plans and demanded something I wasn’t accustomed to practicing. To trust. To receive. To let myself be cared for. 

And maybe that's what wholeness calls for; not choosing between self-reliance or vulnerability, but rather, allowing both to coexist. To know that I AM capable. And that I don’t have to carry everything alone.

This experience is teaching me to receive as freely as I give and to let love move in both directions. This is one of the deeper teachings of the Heart Chakra. Both the inhale and the exhale create one complete breath. Giving and receiving complete one another in the same way. Strength and vulnerability belong together. Both are part of mutuality.

Belonging isn’t only something we extend to others. It’s also something we must allow ourselves to receive. And I think that is the deeper experience of belonging. Not simply knowing we are loved, but having the courage to let that love in. Whew,,.that's big work!

As it happens, July is Heart Chakra month in my Wild Soul Wanderings community.

For the past several weeks, I've been preparing for my Heart of Belonging Playshop, creating guided meditations, journaling prompts, and creative experiences centered around love, belonging, forgiveness & mutuality.

I thought I was preparing to teach these themes. Instead, life invited me to live them. This unexpected health journey became its own Heart Chakra initiation for me, asking me to practice in real time everything I'd been reflecting on in my journal. To trust. To receive. To soften. To belong. And that is the true work of the heart; not to arrive at mastery, but to remain willing to keep opening, to keep learning, and to keep loving.

Here's a song that's been a companion for me throughout this experience. As you listen, may it offer you the same sense of peace and comfort it has offered me. May it remind you to meet whatever life brings with loving awareness...and may your own heart continue to reveal exactly the lessons you are ready to receive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUQkBFFML7w&list=RDWUQkBFFML7w&start_radio=1

A Reflection for Your Own Heart

I encourage you to look at imbalances that may be present in your own life.  Maybe you've cultivated productivity while neglecting rest.  Maybe you prioritize responsibility over play, or certainty over curiosity. Or perhaps you've become so practiced at caring for everyone else that you've forgotten how to receive care yourself.

None of these are failures. They are simply places where life has developed one quality more deeply than another. The invitation isn't to erase the strengths you've cultivated. It's to ask: What quality is quietly waiting to be invited into fuller expression in your life?

Growth isn't always about becoming more of who we've been. Sometimes it's about becoming more whole and inviting new parts of us to step more forward into the light. For me, wholeness is calling for more mutuality. Perhaps your heart has been whispering a similar invitation to you? If so, I'd encourage you to listen. It just might be leading you toward the next beautiful chapter of your own becoming.

If your own heart is longing to explore the themes of love, mutuality, forgiveness, and belonging within a sacred community, you are invited to join me for one of my Heart Chakra gatherings happening this month of July.

I'm still healing. I'm still integrating. And perhaps because of that, these gatherings feel even more meaningful to me now. It feels important to keep these events open, not because I have all the answers, but because I believe healing happens in relationship. My hope is that we create a space where mutuality isn't just a concept we discuss, but an experience we share together.

If your heart is longing for deeper belonging, creative reflection, or simply a gentle place to breathe, listen, and reconnect with yourself in the company of kindred souls, I'd be honored to welcome you into this online gathering.

Heart of Belonging Playshop

July 25, Saturday afternoon