Winter Solstice 2020
marked the beginning of Year 4
of my 8 year MiddleWorld Apprenticeship.
To honor the day, I went to a local park
and spent some time in prayer
with my intentions for the new year.
When I returned to my truck in the parking lot,
I discovered the drivers window busted
and my purse and several other items stolen.
I am grateful I had thick gloves on
so I could easily clear out the glass. I am grateful they did not steal the truck
and that I was still able to drive home.
As soon as I got home,
I put a stop on my credit cards
and contacted my insurance company.
I was able to get someone to my house
the following day to replace my window.
I am grateful this repair was able to happen so quickly.
After my first wave
of response to this experience
I noticed a strong charge of energy
coursing through my body.
It was a charge of adrenaline.
A charge of violation.
A charge of knowing I would be without
credit cards, cash or ID for a while.
A charge of frustration
of having to deal with all this.
A charge of gratitude & knowing
that even though this sucked
I had resources to make it through this.
I sat with all this energy in ceremony throughout the night
and the Prayer that emerged was Three-Fold:
1. Prayers for those experiencing violent trauma
There are so many people
experiencing crimes against their property and person,
especially these days.
From small crimes such as mine,
to larger acts of violence,
assaults against our being
create big rifts in our nervous systems.
I prayed into this charge that so many people are feeling.
2. Prayers for those that feel called to hate & break
There are so many people experiencing
fear, anger, desperation & hatred,
especially these days.
These contractions lead to aggressive backlash
and we all suffer from this as a humanity.
May the heart of kindness
reach all people in pain
in ways that support them
with being kinder -
both to themselves and to others.
3. Prayers for the society that creates these experiences
Our culture breeds so many layers
of fracture and dissonance.
The Family, Economic and Community systems we have in place are broken.
The Towers we have built are collapsing.
May the collapse we are experiencing now lead to a better rebuild;
one that is more collaborative, sustainable & compassionate.
May I somehow be a heart centered aspect of this solution.
When I awoke the next morning
I felt another sensation in my body.
This was one of contraction,
with some slight edges of fear.
Whoever stole my purse
knows my name & address.
They can go on social media
and learn more about me.
This sense of vulnerability triggered me.
It brought up past trauma
of being in hiding for my life.
It brought up questions about
how public I want to be on social media.
It made me think about safety & security,
both in my house and when I am on the road.
This experience stirred up some energetics for me to be with
and I wanted to do so with my MiddleWorld Vows & Intentions
informing and guiding me along the way.
And so, I sat with the contraction from this experience,
and the expansion I've been cultivating these past several years
and cultivated my prayers from this charged place of duality.
This experience of vandalism and theft
is giving me a powerful opportunity
to really engage
my soul vows and commitments.
One of the overarching intentions
for my 2021 Apprenticeship program
is to: Cultivate Connection.
There are lots of people
I will need to talk & meet with
to get my truck fixed and stolen items replaced.
These are people I would not have connected with
if this experience had not occurred.
And so, rather then being short and frustrated with them,
these people at the police, DMV and repair places...
I want to cultivate connection with these humans
as I interact with them.
Rather then letting my frustrations with this experience
hinder my relating with these people,
I want to use this experience as an opportunity
to connect with more people...
and to do so from a place of kindness, light and presence.
This experience drives me
to want to be kinder.
To offer more presence to more people.
To engage with heart even more.
The world is aching so deeply now.
May I bow into this pain with grace & humility
and offer some light & love as comfort to others.
We are all in this together.
Having my truck broken into and having my stuff stolen
has put a strain on my nervous system
and brought up some heavier emotions for me to be with.
And while I wish it hadn't happened, it did.
Life is a series of events....one thing after the next.
How we respond to the moment and engage with it
defines the experience of life we have.