Shaman of Loss

When I started my Spring 2021 Truck Camping Adventure through Utah,

I did a 5 card Medicine Wheel reading with my Ancestor Oracle deck.

From this prayer, I was introduced to a powerful council of guides

to accompany me on my road trip.

The first guide that emerged

from my reading

was The Ancestor of Loss,

which came with the following message:

“I am the Shaman of loss.

I can interpret lost ideas, traditions,

beliefs and values you once cherished

but have since forgotten.

I help you understand what losing something means

and teach you the paradox

that loss is gain.

I help those who are lost

to find themselves

and those who have lost the path

to rediscover it.

No matter what you feel is missing from your life,

I can help you replace that loss

with fresh hope.”

Loss is something we all feel and experience

throughout the course of our life.

However, over this past year

loss has been more pronounced

for many of us, myself included.

Before I left on my trip through Utah,

I spent time journaling about

my 8 Dreams for Life;

these are aspirations & intentions

I’ve had for years,

some even since childhood.

The pandemic brought halted energy

to each one of these aspects of my life.

Instantly & without warning.

Over the past several months

I’ve been sitting with the grief

of these stagnant dream aspirations

and have slowly started

to soften my grip on them.

There is medicine and magic in all things

and I want to take advantage

of this aspect of the pandemic.

The stand still energy of the past year

has given me time to clear my slate a bit,

and sit in the no-thing-ness

of my aspirations.

In this way, the pandemic has become

a palette cleanser of sorts.

As I engage in my Wild Soul Wanderings

through the vast desert of Utah,

I am reflecting on my 8 Dreams of Life

and see that the seed of each of these desires

is still present in my being,

some more activated & alive than others.

All of them are calling for a revisit in depth & breadth,

and for expression in new ways

for these new days.

As things start to open up in society,

and I slowly move out of isolation,

I find myself receiving guidance from Spirit

on movements & activities to engage in

to support my soul dreams

with developing in ways that support

this new era of life

that I find myself & the world in.

It feels good to be inspired again.

Another aspect of my Utah Adventure

is to honor the end of my 49th year

and prepare to start Year 50

of my life journey.

This is a big portal for me to pass through.

As I reflect on the past 5 decades

of my life adventure

with the Shaman of Loss at my side,

I come to deeper acceptance

that the past is lost in so many ways,

as is my youth.

And even though the past

& my youth are lost,

gone forever...

they both have offered so much influence

to this Now moment I currently reside in.

And while there may be lost opportunities

from the past & my youth

that I can not regain,

there is a Now moment

that is fully present

and available for me

to be in deep participation with.

The Shaman of Loss is helping me

expand more fully into this next phase of my adult life,

and is reminding me to drink in all the sacred juice I can

from this Now moment.

Be present with what is present,

because I will eventually lose this too.

As I drive the backroads of Utah

and contemplate threads of loss in my life,

another message that comes through

from the Shaman of Loss is:

“The Universe cannot survive without balance.

All things have their opposites.

Joy has Sorrow.

Beauty has Ugliness.

Gain must have loss.

The Shaman of Loss helps us understand

why some things must pass away.

Why we sometimes lose our path

and why at times

all sources of nourishment seem to dry up.

Not all loss is bad.

Sometimes we lose things that harm us.

The Shaman of Loss

walks beside us

through the labyrinth of time

and helps us rediscover things

we believe lost to us forever.”

Yes, I feel grief around what I feel

has been lost from the past. However,

the Shaman of Loss inspires me to expand my focus

on what loss can be.

What loss do I want to welcome more fully into my life?

...so I sit with the contemplations of:

- Loss of Fear

- Loss of Addiction

- Loss of Pain

- Loss of Stagnation

- Loss of Loneliness

And while these forces are not completely lost in my life,

I can say these words of possibility

internally or externally

and notice where I feel a charge in my body as I make these statements.

I can breathe into these charged areas

and invite presence, compassion and freedom into that space.

In this way, these contemplations of loss

become an intention, a prayer,

an elixir I can stir through my being

with breath & awareness

as a way to release a layer of contraction

that I have in my BodyMind.

Pain & loneliness may never be fully gone

from my life,

however, by working with the possibility

of losing layers of these energies,

I can incrementally welcome in

more vitality & freedom into my life.

In this way, loss becomes gain.

Traveling the expanse of the Utah desert,

with the Shaman of Loss by my side,

has created many rich moments

of contemplation & healing for me.

Thank you to the Shaman of Loss

for your wisdom teachings,

and to the Utah desert for holding me

so richly for this type of soul work.

Contemplations

- What are some challenging losses of your life?

- What do you feel is lost to you forever?

- How is loss ushering in a new beginning for you?

- What loss are you welcoming into your life?

- How has loss been gain for you?